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When you come in 1/2 drunk and your wife asks in her not so nice tone of voice..."What are doing coming home 1/2 drunk?"...DO NOT answer her by saying..."Because I ran out of money...":nonono:

The #1 thing to never say when you're drunk is "I'm driving"

 

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I ain't wearin' one of them thangs....you can't FEEL nothin'.
 

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I HAVE to drive....I`m too drunk to sing:biggrin:
 

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And never, ever, say, drunk or sober, "It makes you look fat."
 

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Women have an inborn aversion to cellulite.
It would follow, then, that one should NEVER, EVER, refer to his wife, even in jest, as "Waffle-Ass".
Trust me on this one.
DD
 

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While intoxicated, dont meet women and mix up their name and numbers. Then Sober the next day, call them and call Sandy, April. Abruptly, take your foot and firmly kick yourself in the behind.

I know from experience

The two dumbest words a man can say are "Watch This"
 
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