There was an old retired Marine who got so sick of hearing about Iraq and Afghanistan and the War on Terror on the news,that he decided to re-enlist and go help out. After they told him he was too old,he told them that if they wouldn't send him over there to help his brothers then he'd just paddle a damn rowboat all the way across the ocean by himself,and he set out to do just that.
St. Peter,seeing the old Leatherneck struggling against the waves,turned to God and said,"We should give him a sign to go home...he'll never make it."
The Lord said,"He still thinks he's a Marine,so take his brain."
St. Peter did so,and the old Marine continued to paddle,chanting,"Semper Fi! Do or die! Hoo-ah hoo-ah!"
The Lord looked down and said,"In his heart he is still a Marine...take his heart."
St. Peter did so,and the old Marine continued to paddle,singing, "From the halls of Montezuma,to the shores of Tripoli..."
The Lord looked at the poor guy and said,"I guess it's balls that make a Marine,so take his balls."
St. Peter did so,and the man stopped paddling,turned the boat around and said, "I am an Army of one!"