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AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mousetrap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be too afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad tooth ache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.

8. Chapped lips? Rub chicken poop on them. It won't ease the chapping, but it will keep you from licking them.

9. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are. You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

And finally.....Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. One out of every four people suffer from a mental disorder. If you have three friends, and none of them have a problem...well...you do the math.
 

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Thats funny stuff right there.
 

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Old Sheepdog
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You can't see it, but I'm laughing!
 

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Those are hilarious!!!

Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are. You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
We definitely live by that remedy in our home!!! :)
 

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Old Sheepdog
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I'm a haz-mat truck driver and have to be with the truck (outside) while it's loading. This is the first year I've had a prob with

chapped lips, but I just can't bring myself to try that solution :tongue: Tracy
 

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A smile in the morning, who would have known. Thanks:biglaugh:
 
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